4 Ways to STOP Beating Yourself Up

Posted: April 13, 2021

As women we’ve all done it. We beat ourselves up for minor things that didn’t go the way they “should” of. We beat ourselves up for not being the perfect mom or partner. We beat ourselves up for not looking like the models in magazines. What are we not beating ourselves up for? I think some of us are even beating ourselves up for beating ourselves up!

It’s time to put a stop to beating ourselves up. Life is stressful enough without an added voice of negativity that doesn’t have to be there. Judging, criticizing, and beating ourselves up only leads to negativity, depression, sadness, anger, resentment, insecurity, low self-esteem, and self-doubt. None of that sounds good. And, if we let this negativity go on long enough, it will turn into clinical depression. So, let’s stop all this negativity now before it gets worse!

Here are some steps to stop beating yourself up:

Come up with a STOP signal
At the first sign of negative, critical, or judgemental self-talk, find a way to remind yourself to STOP this thinking in it’s tracks. Some women envision a stop sign in their head, other’s actually say “STOP” out loud. Others wear a rubber band around their wrist and snap it when they notice negative thinking. I personally imagine a stop sign in my head and it seems to work well for me.
Acknowledge something positive about yourself
As soon as you have used your stop signal, acknowledge and say 1 positive thing about yourself that pertains to the situation at hand. This could be something positive you did or didn’t do, but quickly try to identify 1 positive thing and say it to yourself, out loud if possible.
Identify a daily affirmation or mantra
One thing that helped me talk to myself in a more positive way was to have a go to affirmation or mantra that I would say to myself throughout the day. Think of 1 affirmation or mantra and practice saying it until you have it memorized. Some examples of mantra’s or affirmations are:
- “I am good enough”
- “I deserve respect”
- “I am worthy”
It can also be an inspirational statement instead of an affirmation, but you want the statement to remind you of your worth in some way.
Do a positive journaling exercise at the beginning and end of the day
It really helps to start and end your day with positivity. Each morning and evening answer the following questions:
- Morning questions
  - What do I appreciate about myself today?
  - What strengths can I use to problem solve today?
  - What affirmation do I want to remind myself of today?
- Evening questions
  - What behaviors am I proud of today?
  - What positive statements did I tell myself today?
  - What challenges did I overcome today?
  - What did I do today that was in line with my values?
These are just some examples of questions that you can answer each morning and evening that trigger positive self-talk.
I hope this blog post has been helpful in giving you some tips in how to stop beating yourself up! Reach out anytime and sign up below to receive my newsletter. Have a great day!